ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
