Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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