Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
