He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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