just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
