She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
