I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize