Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
