So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
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Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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