I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
