Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's blow job season.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
