His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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