i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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