I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
