You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
