the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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