I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
