I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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