its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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