Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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