and you said cock pushups were impossible
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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