Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
is wine microwaveable?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
