beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
