Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?