a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..