goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
porn star boner night. come get it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
