Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
