my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
