So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
