erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We had to coat check the pizza.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
