it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize