he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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