ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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