AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
