We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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