Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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