Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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