Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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