4 words: hood of his car
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize