So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
