Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was like having sex with a tree stump
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
