OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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