The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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