It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
