Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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