She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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