i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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