Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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