i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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