Me too!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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