So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
