So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
