remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
