Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
