i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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