YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
