drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
