God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
