How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
