dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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