If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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