What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize