There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
how drunk are you?
Several
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
