she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize