Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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