JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
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He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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