if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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