i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
