My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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